How I Convinced My Husband I Was ADHD
It took me about a year to convince my husband that I was ADHD.
Not one conversation.
Not one article.
Not one dramatic aha moment.
A whole year.
And honestly… if I put myself in his shoes, I get it.
Why He Didn’t Believe Me at First
My husband is a high school science and maths teacher.
His world runs on data, logic, patterns, proof.
And the only example he’d ever seen of ADHD was the kids he teaches every day.
Impulsive. Loud. Disruptive.
Very different to a 24-year-old perfectionist with control issues, a full-time career, and over a decade of hardcore masking.
If I were him?
I probably wouldn’t have believed me either.
So I Stopped Trying to Convince Him All at Once
Instead of pushing harder, I slowed down.
I was patient and understanding.
I shared micro moments of vulnerability instead of hiding my struggles.
I named things out loud instead of forcing myself to “just cope”.
I also started sharing what I was learning about ADHD in small, digestible doses, knowing full well he would question it or ask for more evidence.
And even when that stung, I reminded myself of this:
It wasn’t rejection.
It was curiosity.
Everything he did came from love, even when it didn’t feel good in the moment.
The Real Shift Happened When I Fully Understood My ADHD
At some point, something changed.
I stopped just saying
“I think I have ADHD”
…and actually learned what ADHD looked like for me.
I learned the traits.
I learned how they work in the brain.
I started recognising the tiny, everyday moments that stacked up.
The emotional spirals.
The fear of being too much.
The way rejection sensitivity showed up as people-pleasing, silence, and self-blame.
Without Realising It, I Was Collecting Data
Not to prove myself.
But to explain myself.
I could finally say things like:
“This is what rejection sensitivity looks like in ADHD.
This is how it shows up.
And these are the things I’ve been hiding from you because I’m scared you’ll see me as a burden and leave.”
That fear was very real for me.
What Changed Everything
Now, five years on from diagnosis, he’s my biggest supporter and advocate.
Not because I forced him to catch up.
But because I trusted that he would, once I had the clarity and language to show him.
And I don’t want this process to take years for you.
If I Could Go Back, I’d Start Here
If I could do one thing differently, it would be this:
I would have started with a visual way to understand my brain instead of trying to explain it with words I didn’t yet have.
That’s why I always recommend starting with the Colour Spectrum Chart.
It helps you see how your ADHD or autistic traits show up across different areas of life in a way that’s simple, non-clinical, and easy to share.
It’s often the first moment someone says:
“Oh… okay. I get it now.”
When You Want a Deeper Understanding
If you’re craving more than clarity, if you want language, structure, and examples you can point to, I recommend pairing the Colour Spectrum Chart with the Know Your Neurodivergence Bundle.
It breaks down all 22 traits, with 550 real-life examples of how ADHD and autism actually show up in adults, especially the kind that gets masked, minimised, or misunderstood.
Together, they give you clarity and communication.
So instead of trying to convince people,
you can simply show them.
And trust me… that changes everything.
Love Sav xx
